Lies your mother told you...

So why is it that when I imagined myself pregnant I pictured this:

And now that I'm actually knocked up, I feel more like this:

Okay, okay, so I know I can be occasionally biased by the passing exaggerative tendency, but seriously. Before you get pregnant there is a whole host of lies that those you love feed you. Let's be honest, they're just so damn bent on having a new grandbaby/friend baby/any sort of friggin' baby to drool over that they're desperate and willing to tell you anything to get you off that birth control. Let's examine a few of these pregnancy related fibs:

Lie #1: You will get "the glow" during pregnancy!
Cold Hard Truth: Unless "the glow" refers to "re-emergence of acne like you haven't seen since junior high", then you're full of poo.

Lie #2: Your morning sickness will end after the 1st trimester!
Cold Hard Truth: In the mornings, while I (a full month past the 1st tri mark) continue to sit on the bed deep breathing, hard swallowing, and trying to convince myself that IamnotgonnapukeIamnotgonnapuke, I pass the time by visualizing anyone who told me morning sickness would end at 12 weeks getting stabbed in the eye. Right. In. The. Freakin'. Eye.

Lie #3: Your boobs will grow 1-2 cup sizes!
Cold Hard Truth: Yeah, they promised me that kind of thing when I went through puberty too. Filthy liars then, fialthy liars now.

Lie #4: Your sex drive will increase substantially in your 2nd trimester!
Cold Hard Truth: Do you hear that laughter? Yeah, that's Nicholas laughing in the other room in answer to this little factoid that we were told. Sorry babe.

Lie #5: You will feel sexy and empowered throughout your pregnancy!
Cold Hard Truth: Please refer to second picture above.


Cold Hard Truth of it all: Pregnancy is not what you think it will be, because it's simply not an experience that anyone can express with words. It's sort of like describing how chicken tastes (sorry Eggy, for comparing your earthly human development to chicken, but seriously, it's a good comparison. And I really like chicken.) But, the truth of it is that it's the most amazing, life-changing, relationship strengthening, and love-inducing time I could imagine. And that usually helps console me when I realize that my pants aren't only refusing to button, but are now refusing to zip. Like a full-out pants mutiny people. And that's no lie. 

Happy Father's Day

Meet my dad.

Debonair, no?

My dad put some incredibly high standards in my life. He showed me how a man should treat a woman, how a man should carry himself with integrity, kindness, and humor. He should me what a father should be. Engaged and active with their children, gifting them with confidence and love.

My dad bestowed me amazing childhood memories. Walk to the Big Grass with Mr. Turtle stuffed into a play baby stroller (so totally not approved by the ASPCA). Driving over the Utah mountains watching silent and breathtaking sunsets. Nightly walks around the field with the dog (well, back when she could actually walk...Poor Wishy!) Airport pick-ups for Julie Flagstaff and her omnipresent briefcase. Cheering and crying with me as I earned a spot in #1 doubles at states - we both knew the win meant so much more in the big picture for me than just a medal.

Dad carried me (often literally) through the worst. He took a leave from school to take care of me when I was sick. He called doctors, took me to orthopedists, chiropracters, physical therapists, bracing specialists, Children's Hospital, spinal surgeons, even all the way to Texas. He stayed up night after night rubbing my back, feeding me medicine (and subsequently making sure I was still breathing...), and often driving me through the dark to the emergency room. He saw me in my lowest, my most pained, but through strength and love, he successfully saw me through it to the other side. 

Last year, around this time, he rode with me backwards on a golf cart in the rain to walk me down the aisle toward my future. He gave me away with tears and love - both from him and I. And in six months I will give him something back - a grandchild.

And I know that our baby will grow up and be able to look back on his/her father with the same love that I can.

Because I was somehow lucky enough to find a man that could fill the enormous shoes my dad put in my life.

Like my father, he makes me feel loved, supported, cared for, and beautiful every single day. And he is going to make a truly amazing dad. I can't wait to see it...

In my family, we show our love through our actions, our hearts, and our support. But we don't often say it outloud to each other, and sometimes, it really is worth saying. Happy Father's Day dad, I love you.

It's way too fun...

...to buy baby stuff. Nick and I went out and bought Eggy's crib and changing table yesterday, and the big shocker - we both happily agreed on a set!!!! Here's what we ended up getting:

Right now it looks more like this, though:

Our project for our anniversary on the 26th will be to put this bad boy together. Now we just need another 4,394,947,029 baby related purchases and we'll be ready for our little one!!

Take me out to the ballgame...

Went to the Rockies vs. Padres game last night and got to see the Rocks pull in a win. It was a fun game, but the best part by far was my soft pretzel with cheese. I seriously woke up yesterday morning full of excited anticipation for my P&C (that's a pretzel and cheese for those of you not hip to the lingo).

We sat in front of a family with a little girl - about 12-years-old or so. She was severely involved with the 'fugly stage' in life (no judgies, we've all been there.....well, except me of course), and was acting like Satan's youngest spawn. (Amazing how uncute kids suddenly find new depths of uncute-ness when they turn into little she-beasts.) At the end of the game she started mouthing off to her parents about not wanting to leave the game early (actual quote, "Well I'm not leaving and that's the end of it!") and starting bawling when told that indeed she was to be leaving before the last inning. Mommy and Daddy pulled her into their laps and started cooing all over her, smothering her with kisses, and engaging in baby talk that threatened the stomach placement of my beloved P&C. Nick and I watched the whole thing from the row behind them, and of course made a pact to each other that we would never A) let our kid get away with such nonsense, no matter how tired/hopped on on sugar they may be, B) cuddle our 12-year-old on our laps while she cried and threw an unattractive pre-teen tantrum over not getting her way and C) never get our kid braces while s/he is in the midst of the fuglies (seriously, it wasn't doing her any favors....at this point in her facial bone structure development she would have been better off to just leave the orthodontic needs alone for a year or two.)

Anyway, the point of the story is, are you able to recognize these things in yourself and your child once you're the parent? I have to hope that if the parents in front of us were watching this from our perspective, they would have been as horrified and naseauted as we were. Does it being YOUR child erase all your ability to see them in all their bratty glory? It's funny how you start to measure other kids up when you're pregnant, as well as measure up other parents and their actions with their child's behaviors. As two special education teachers trained in handling aversive behaviors I'd like to think Nick and I have a leg-up on other first time parents, at least in the behavioral intervention department. But that's not necessarily true, as I've known plenty of crazed children whose parents are teachers. Nick and I have discussed our parenting beliefs, behavior strategies, and family rules that we would want to implement since long before we were pregnant, and hopefully that will help us at least start with a framework to work off of. I'm not naive enough to think that all the things we said we'd "never do" won't happen, nor am I blind to the fact that each child comes with their own unique challenges and needs that will test you in different ways. I do have faith in Nick and I as a parenting team, though, and believe that we will be able to guide our kid(s) towards becoming intelligent, polite, caring, and kind individuals who of course sit sweetly and attentively at all Major League baseball games they attend. And of course MY child will never enter the fugly stage. Just like his/her mommy.

-How far along? 14 weeks
-How big is baby? 3.5 inches long - the size of a lemon! Maybe that's why I'm craving lemonade...
-Weight gain? Not sure how much, but I have a feeling a safe answer to this question would be "yes".
-Maternity clothes? Still able to wear a couple of non-maternity shirts and some of my pants/shorts with my BeBand. Though I wore my cute size 2 jeans with the BeBand to the game last night, and when I heard the quiet screams of denim being stretched to the max I realized it may be time to retire a few sets of pants...
-Stretchies? Still lubin' up with the ol' cocoa butter. I look like a grease stain after slathering that stuff on.
-Boobs? Still a little sore here and there...Last night at the game I sort of forgot where I was and started rubbing my boob because it hurt, and realized this guy was sitting there staring at me with an incredulous look on his face. Oopsies!
-Sleep? Much better lately - usually only waking up once a night to pee.
-Best moment this week? Learning that Eggy can now squint, grimace, smile, and even suck his/her thumb. If s/he takes after me, they'll be sucking their thumb for years and years (and years and years and years) to come!
-Movement? I can't wait, but so far nuttin'.
-Food cravings? Lemonade, grilled cheese sandwiches, popsicles, grilled chicken with peanut sauce!
-Gender? Still not sure, but for some reason I'm having some boyish sort of suspicions...
-Belly button in or out? In, but looking a little...different.
-What I miss? Being able to lay on my stomach comfortably.
-What I am looking forward to? Our one year anniversary is in 11 days!

You Got a Friend in Me...

I went out to coffee (or hot chocolate, as is more my nature) with a few friends last week. One was an old friend who I've known since I was 14-years-old (and we got into an interesting conversation about the first time we met, which included me showing her my thong. That I was wearing at the time. Sadly if you know me you're not surprised.) She's a warm, beautiful woman, and we've had a really special and mutually supportive relationship for years and years. Later in the week I had coffee (insert correction: hot chocolate) with two of my paras - Deb (Bob), and Celia (Baby Doula....Like a "Baby Momma", but not.) Deb and Celia (along with my other three paras) are some of the most talented, loving, funny, and sarcastic women I've ever met (sarcasm being my highest compliment to bestow). In my classroom, I am known as "Baby Boss" and they are known as "The Bitches". Another example of shining professionalism in the public education spectrum at work again...

Like I've mentioned before, all my paras were some of the most supportive people while I was struggling to get pregnant. I usually pride myself on being a pretty steady, emotionally stable person, but the infertility journey was one of the biggest rollercoasters of painful and confusing emotions that I've ever been on. Through it all my girls stuck by my side, and continued to have an uncanny six sense for what I needed before I often knew myself. The top three people I was most excited to tell when I found out we were pregnant were Nick, my parents, and my bitches, because those were the people that were right there through it all.

Nick teases me because all of my friends are nearly twice my age or older. Clearly it means I'm either ragingly mature, or they are ragingly immature. (I know many people likely have strong feelings on that one way or another, but since this is MY blog, I'm going to stick with me being ragingly mature.) Nick says it frightens him because it gives him a clear look into the future of how I'm going to be in ten years, twenty years, etc. (Spoiler alert: things don't look much different.)

Luckily we somehow find a balance, and while I do like to tease that they could be my mother (or grandmother, in the case of multiple teen pregnancy accidents), I love the fact that I have friends from every stage of life. Literally we have moms with grandkids, moms with kids just starting college, moms with teens, pre-teens, and elementary-age kids, and then of course me with Eggy.

Nick and I have so much parenting experience to gleen from our friends, and have talked about how lucky we are to have so many competent and excited babysitters for our little one (and of course by "babysitters" I mean "potential baby-nappers".) There are some conflicts and ugliness surrounding who gets our baby when post-birth (there have already been dates penciled in on the calendar for whose week is whose...Sadly Nick and I aren't on there until about mid-March I believe.)

But honestly, what a lucky kid to be born into such an incredible, knowledgable, and loving support system that extends beyond just our immediate family. I've already come to see that there is nothing, nothing more special than seeing your friends love your baby. Makes you love them even more...Even if they are bitches.

Busy, busy, busy...

What a crazy few weeks it's been! Here's the latest scoop:
- Had our first appointment with the midwives last week and everything looks great. They are willing to take us on despite some of my extra medical complications, and Nick and I were SO happy to be able to stay with the midwives. We will see all four midwives at the practice, and then whoever is on-call the night I go into labor will be the one to deliver my baby. The midwife we met at this appointment was very nice, and spent a lot of time answering our questions and giving us information on what to expect in the coming weeks/months.
- I have officially gained 4lbs so far according to the scales at the OB/Midwife clinic. I've had some of my friends and family tell me that I have 'popped' a bit more in the last few weeks, and am now finally looking pregnant vs. just looking like the fatty from the buffet line. By the end of the day I have quite the mondo-gut. I know, I'm bringing sexy back.
- We got to hear Eggy's heartbeat for the first time at our appoinrment, which was awesome! It was going strong at 170bpm. The doctor had a little trouble initially getting a clear sound for the HB, because my pump kept giving the doppler feedback. Hot mic, hot mic...
- The midwife did a breast exam and said everything look good for breastfeeding, and did a pelvic exam and felt like there would be no obvious anatomical reasons we couldn't have a vaginal birth. Nick was horribly uncomfortable for said exams, and said he felt like our dog trying to not to look at a treat when given the "leave it" command. He wasn't sure where to look, so he stared at the blank wall. I told him that being that we're with child and all the gig is up that he's seen the goodies, but if you know Nick you know this did little to calm his nerves. Not sure what that boy's gonna do with himself during labor and delivery. He might need narcotics to get through it more than I do...
- Speaking of pain relief, the midwife is planning on having us visit with the anesthesiologist prior to going into labor, so we can discuss the options around an epidural with my leads. My intrathecal pain pump leads go up the same spinal cavity space where an epidural would be run, so it's important that we have someone comfortable with this extra complication when administering my epidural.

Overall obviously a great first appointment, and both Nick and I feel really confident about having the midwives for our pre/post-natal care! Our next visit will be in a month (at 16 weeks) where we will meet another midwife, and I will get my 1hr glucose test done (I'd rather stick my hand in a fire, but that's neither here nor there...)

We also got a chance to join a study that was being promoted at the doctor's office, and I just got an email letting me know that we had been accepted into the study. It's being run by CSU, and is studying the effects of DHA on brain development in-utero as well as in the first few months of life. DHA is already proven to enhance brain development in newborns, but this study is looking to find what dose is the most beneficial for babies. All we do to participate in the study is to take an additional supplement each day (it will either be DHA or a placebo...the great news, though, is that if we're already taking DHA or a prenatal supplement fortified with DHA (which I am) we don't have to discontinue this if we're in the research study), and get one additional vial of blood drawn at the 16 week appointment. After I give birth I will be asked to breastfeed for at least three months (which I was planning on doing anyway), and then at 3mos/6mos/9mos our baby will undergo cognitive testing at the labs at CSU (which I'm really excited about....I think that will be so interesting!) In return for our participation, we will receive free supplements, a nutrional coach who will collect a food diary from me and help me set a nutrional plan (along with follow-up during and after the pregnancy), a lactation consultant (breastfeeding coach) who will meet with us prior to the birth to help practice and get set-up for breastfeeding, and will also be available to us 24/7 for any questions or concerns once the baby is here, and we will also be given a free breast pump. Not bad, eh? I think the whole thing sounds great....There really isn't any risk (especially since I was already taking DHA), and I'm excited for all the perks that come with it. I also think the cognitive testing will be really interesting (though knowing Nick and me, we'll probably get uber-competitive about it and we'll end up trying to 'train' our 3-month-old infant in preperation for his/her test. I wonder if there are any "prep guides" for infant cognitive tests like they have for the SAT's? Hmmmm....)

I'm going today to get trigger point injections, which I'm really hoping is going to help some of the pain I've been having in my upper back and neck. What I really need to get done are my SI Joint injections ("hip injections"), but since it requires heavy sedation as well as moving xray for the procedure, it's just not worth the risk to get done while I'm pregnant. My hips have been KILLING me lately...I'm sleeping like crap because I can't get comfortable, it's hard to walk longer than a few blocks (especially by the end of the day), and it causes just this deep, constant ache into my hip joint, butt, and down my leg. Not pleasant. Really sucks knowing that I have at least 6 more months until I can do anything about it, too.... But it's all going to be worth it in the end, that's what I need to keep reminding myself!!!!

In other news, Nick and I went down to Durango this past weekend for my little brother's wedding. It was a nice wedding and fun to see my niece, Ireland. Nick and Ireland have this odd little connection - Ireland is very enamored with him, and has been since he sang her "Proud to be an American" over and over when she was a few months old. There's nothing better than seeing your husband be great with babies (especially when you're cooking one of those yourself!) He told me later that she was his favorite part of the trip... : )