Baby Online Dating Profile

Name:
River Garrett

Age:
7 weeks

I would describe myself as:
Sophisticated, mature, debonair, and sensitive.

My current interests include:
Bath time (yes I've learned to love it), being held/rocked/snuggled/anything that involves NOT being put down, my singing light-up turtle, romantic candlelight dinners (ie - boobie milk)

My favorite past times are:
Getting drive-by-lickings in the face from Sheeba-the-Wonder-Dog, long walks stuffed in the moby wrap, and post-meal naps

On the weekends I:
Eat, sleep, poop, and clean with my Daddy. The cleaning is the only real differentiation from weekday to weekend activities.

The best way to contact me if you're interested is:

Call my mom. I'm 7 weeks old for crissake - I don't own a phone much less have the ability to verbalize.