2 months

It's been a busy few weeks! Last week we had our first ultrasound and got to see our Baby Smoz (aka Eggy). It.Was.Amazing. I honestly expected to cry, but I ended up just being so blown away all I could do was lay there with my mouth hanging open like a total twerp. It is beyond bizarre that this little tadpole (c'mon, that's totally what it looks like) has taken up residence in my lady parts. We got to see a little heartbeat (and by "heartbeat" I mean flickering on the screen. It could have just been bad reception, but the doctor convinced us that this was its little ticker.) We got a few pictures, a video of the ultrasound, and orders to come back in two weeks for our 9 week ultrasound.

Nick is telling his mom about our pregnancy on Mother's Day, so that should be a special gift for her. I feel much more confident after having such a great ultrasound to start letting people know that we're knocked up. I know we still have a few more weeks till we're out of the 'danger zone', but the doctor told us he was really confident from how everything was looking up till now. Nick and I were talking about how stressful it is to be pregnant - there's so much to think about, worry about, and all you can do is pray things are developing correctly. My control freak tendencies are rearing their ugly head!

On the advice of our doctor, Nick and I had the discussion about whether we would do genetic testing on the baby. Our OB told us that we needed to decide what we would do if we had testing and found out something was wrong - because if we've already decided that we wouldn't terminate the pregnancy, there's really no reason to do the tests. Nick and I have a special insight on this subject, as we're both special ed teachers, and I teach children with profound disabilities. Both of us (like any parent) are terrified of having a baby with special needs, but I think we have an extra sense of nervousness about it because we know the hardships that it brings first hand. (Plus when you're surrounded by special ed kids all day it starts to feel like EVERY baby is born with disabilities!) My biggest fear is the reliability of the tests - none of them can give you a 100%, for sure, no lingering questions kind of diagnosis. I'm not sure I could live with ending a pregnancy, and then forever wondering if that test was right. Plus there are many of my children that weren't diagnosed until age 1,2,3 years old, so you can do all the tests in the world and that doesn't necessarily safe guard you. We don't have a history of disabilities in our family, and both of us are young and healthy, so our risk factor is very low. Knowing all of this we have decided not to do any testing, and let little Eggy grow undisturbed. I will do all I can to be as healthy as possible throughout the pregnancy, we will pray for Eggy's health and cognitive development, and then prepare to support whatever baby we are given. I know no matter what we will love the hell out of our Baby Smoz...

So remember that time I lamented the fact that I wasn't having morning sickness, and how sad, and scary, and boy I hope everything is okay? Yeah, I hate me for that. Almost exactly 12 hours after hitting "publish post" I was hugging the toilet dry heaving my little guts out, and cursing myself for putting the "I don't have morning sickness" words out into the universe. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Luckily it only seems to be happening a few times a week, and so far seems to be contained to just first thing in the morning. On the unfortunate side, it happened yesterday after I had put my make-up on, and I ended up looking like Tammy Fae Baker. Not a good way to start the morning. I also caught a lovely cold from my lovely husband, and have been hacking and coughing non-stop. I swear I might cough this poor baby out. I decided to stay home from school today, because between the pukies and the coughies I just wasn't feeling it.

It's my wonderful, handsome husband's 33rd birthday day - happy birthday Nicholas!!! He is going to be such an amazing, loving, involved, and educated father...I honestly cannot wait to see him with our baby. He's taken such great care of me through this pregnancy - he won't let me clean the house so Eggy isn't exposed to "cleaning chemicals", he rubs my back (okay, he did that before I was preggo too), and he tolerates my rare moments of hormone induced craziness. (Please note the "rare".) I am so lucky to have the husband I do, and I know our child will be lucky to have the father that Nick will be.

I'm hoping to take a belly pic of my 8 week gut this weekend - there's actually a little somethin' somethin' peaking out there. It's getting a little tricky to find clothes for work - by the end of the day I look like I'm rocking the beer gut. It's very weird to me to watch my body change like this, and I'm constantly rubbing this little pooch I've got in the making. (As Nick said, I've got a muffin top for the first time, and it's already on its way to becoming a cake top. There's a sexy image for ya.) Sometimes I forget I'm pregnant and see myself in the mirror and have that moment of, "Damn, I've let myself go." But then I remember my little Eggy and happily run back downstairs for a second ice cream sandwich.

I am trying to stay good about being active, and am still going to yoga twice a week, have done Body Combat at the gym (albeit lame, pregnant-lady combat), and am going on our nightly walks with the Sheeba dog. I'm shocked by how much harder working out is already, and how quickly I get worn out. I'm trying to be careful not to push it and listen to my body, but it does feel good to continue to stay active and keep my body in shape. Anyone who knows me knows how work-out obsessed I am, and it feels good to keep that routine going. I want to wear a big sign to the gym proclaiming my pregnancy though, because I always wonder if people are thinking why the semi-fat chick in the back is skipping the ab work out. I mean, seriously.

This Sunday is Mother's Day and I can't wait to spend it with my family. I have the best mommy in the world, and I can't wait to experience mommy-hood myself. I have incredible parents to mirror my own parenting style off of...I am a lucky, lucky lady....