When Nick and I first started to talk about making us a little Smoz, we also discussed what kind of birth we wanted to have. Being my natural control freak self, I dove into books to read as much as I could about different labor/birth processes, beliefs, and plans. We (or I, with my husband dutifully agreeing to "whatever") came up with a few things I was pretty darn sure about:
1. I want my birth to be natural. Now don't get excited, this doesn't mean natural as in 'no drugs' (are you effin' crazy?!), but what I do mean is that I believe birth is a normal process that I don't think needs quite as many interventions as are currently commonly done. I don't want pitocin/episotomy/c-section/etc. unless it's really and truly the best thing for the baby or mama - not because it's going to make the doctor's life a little easier so he can make his 10:00 tee time. I think my body will know what it needs to do, and I want to respect that process as much as possible...
2. Due to this outlook, we want to look at the possibility of having a midwife delivering our baby. We're not talking midwife in the sense of "dreadlocked hippy woman with unshaved armpits who will deliver the baby in the middle of our living room in a plastic kiddie pool". We've researched hospital-privledged midwives, who have a midwifery license but work out of the hospital. They are supported by an OB while you are in labor, which means if something did happen to require additional support, we still have an attending physician there to handle it. To me this is like the best of both worlds - support from a midwife, whose belief's are hopefully attuned to ours in that women's bodies usually know what's best, but with back-up from an OB in case (god forbid) we did have some type of emergency arise. All this said, with my medical history I'm not sure a midwife would take us on (they often won't accept high risk pregnancy, which we will be considered), but I want to at least try.
3. Because I am pretty sure I'm going to get shot-down with the whole midwife thing (thanks pain pump, why don't you just ruin EVERYTHING?!? Sheesh.) I started looking into other avenues of support for the kind of birth I think is right for us. In my reading I came across the idea of a "Doula", or a woman who supports a mother through pregnancy, labor, and post-natal child care. Doula's are trained to be a support person not just to mom, but also to dad, and I love this idea. I know Nick is going to be one stressed out SOB when the big day comes, and I would love to have someone there to keep us both calm, help us make informed decisions, and support our beliefs for labor and delivery.
I broached this all with Nick and he was more than supportive of anything that I thought would help me. I started looking around for Doula's in our area, but still had a nagging feeling that hiring basically a stranger to help us through this process wouldn't be what I was truly looking for.
Ironically, I got the chance to hire a new para in my classroom this year (stay with me, I promise this all ties together...) Celia is a beautiful, wonderful, supportive, and talented woman, who approached me about working in my room when the position opened. I was more than excited to have her as part of my team (especially because I would get to listen to her badass Scottish accent every day), and she proved to be a complete natural at working with our students. She brought a host of special attributes into our room - many of which I didn't even realize we needed until I saw how much more complete and successful we were with her as part of our group.
Before Celia moved to the States, she worked in Britain as a midwife (ah, now you see where this is going...) As Nick and I thought more about how we wanted our baby to be welcomed into the world, I got more time to see Celia working in the caretaking role that is our job. The more I saw her calm, patient, and strong demeanor in high stress situations, the more I recognized that was EXACTLY what I was looking for in my own delivery. I talked with Nick about the idea of having Celia support us as a Doula through birth, and Nick thought it was a great idea. We trust her, we know her, and we love her - plus she's got tons of great experience not just as a Doula, but as an actual midwife catching some baybies!
This morning I invited Celia out to coffee, and after much awkward lead-up on my part (god I'm smooth), I asked her if she would support Nick and I through the birth of our first child. Being the wonderful woman she is, Celia agreed (and then got all nasty-like when I tried to tell her we wanted to pay her. Geez.) I am so incredibly excited that someone Nick and I so completely love and trust will be there to help us through such an important process. We are blessed...
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