Sometimes I have moments of regret for taking off so much time from my job. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being home with River, and couldn't have begun to imagine going back to work when he was only 8 weeks old...But...A lot of my identity is wrapped up in my job. I love teaching my students, working with my paras, advocating for the parents in my room, and collaborating with other teachers. I feel competent and needed at work, and I have missed that while on leave (not to mention I'm a control freak and hate not having total control of my classroom.)
But last week, I met my dad in Windsor on a nice, sunny Wednesday afternoon. We took sandwiches to the park - the same park, as a matter of fact, where I felt River move for the first time during 4th of July fireworks while I was pregnant. After we ate we walked the couple miles around the lake, stopping to feed River and to let him look at the waves the wind was creating.
Afterwards, as I drove home with a sleeping baby in the backseat, I took a minute to appreciate. Because as much as I love my job, I loved that day at the lake more. And as much as I miss the day-to-day work of being a teacher, I would have never wanted to miss that time with my dad and my boy.
Funny how a day at the lake can bring you some perspective. Funny how a day at the lake can be so much more than a day at the lake.
I know River won't remember this day. He's only 3 months old, and in the grand scheme of things, it was a nothing sort of adventure.
He might not remember it, but I will.
We have definitely missed you too but I am so happy that you have had the last 16 weeks to spend with your boy and your dad too. River might not remember this, but this blog and your photographs will help.
ReplyDeleteDays like the one at the lake really do help us realize what's important in our lives. Work will always be there. Yes, you are more than competent and needed there, you will be happy to be back, well, once you get over the fact that River will survive without you there, you will. But believe me, from here on it will never compare to bringing up your beautiful, happy son. You have many, many more memories ahead, but I am so glad you got to experience this one. Just remember though, without a doubt you are a fantastic teacher who gives her all to her students, their families, and your lucky paras; however, it pales in comparison to the mum you have become. River is one gorgeous, lucky boy!